


Happiest Season

by barbaXcarisi (barbaXbenson)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Christmas, Established Relationship, Fluff, Happiest Season AU, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:55:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27922618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbaXbenson/pseuds/barbaXcarisi
Summary: "I wanted to spend Christmas with you, even if we have to pretend we aren’t together.”“You are going to tell them about us, about you? At some point?”“Yes, I promise. Just, not this week. With the whole family there and the kids running around, and all the planning and cooking and everything, it’s kinda stressful and I think it would just be adding fuel to the fire. But I am going to tell them,” Sonny added, reaching over to take Rafael’s hand. “After the new year. I swear.”
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As you can probably tell, my early quarantine productivity took a nose dive and my writing motivation disappeared over these last months, but the moment I saw the trailer for Happiest Season I knew I had to write a Barisi version. This won't be a spot on, scene for scene AU, just the overall plot, but I hope you all enjoy. :)

“Yeah, it’s fine. I mean, I’ll miss you, but if this is what you want then—okay. Okay. Love you too. Bye.” 

Sonny looked across the table at Rafael, the restaurant buzzing around them. “Everything okay?” 

“Yeah.” Rafael stuck his phone back in his breast pocket where he tried to keep it when he was out to dinner with Sonny. It wasn’t always accomplished given his workload, but he felt that the effort was at least worth something. “It’s just that my mother has decided to go on a cruise with my aunt over Christmas. Apparently Tia Claudia surprised her with it as her gift.” 

“Aw, Raf, I’m sorry. I know you enjoy spending Christmas with your mom.” 

He shrugged. “It’s my aunt’s first year without my uncle. I guess it makes sense that she wouldn’t want something traditional.” 

Sonny could tell he was trying to hide how disappointed he really was. Rafael didn’t like to show any kind of vulnerability, even with Sonny after all this time. “I know,” he said before he really thought about it. “Why don’t you come spend Christmas with my family?” 

“Oh,” Rafael said, caught off guard. “No, that’s okay.” It wasn’t that he wouldn’t like to spend Christmas with Sonny. In fact, the thought of spending a quiet Christmas Eve just the two of them, and then waking up to exchange gifts sounded really nice, but that’s not what it would be. It would be a dozen Carisis and all the chaos that came with them. 

“C’mon. It’ll be great. You already know some of them so you won’t be going into a house completely full of strangers.”

He had met a couple of Sonny’s sisters, and Tommy, of course, but that had been work related or in passing. He hadn’t spent any time with them since he and Sonny had started dating a little over eight months ago. He could handle them in his office, going over testimony prep. Across the breakfast table was another story. 

“Really, Sonny, it’s fine.”

“The Poconos are beautiful this time of year. I think you’d really like it.” 

That was the other issue. Instead of a one day jaunt out to Staten Island to suffer through, it would be four days in the Poconos in the home Sonny’s family rented for the holiday because none of them had a house big enough for everyone to gather in. There would be no escape. 

Rafael was about to decline the offer again, but the pleading look on Sonny’s face had his resolve wavering. “Okay, sure. Let’s do it.”

* * *

Once out of the city, as they climbed to higher elevation, the snow on the side of the road grew deeper, and Rafael felt something akin to excitement. Well, maybe not excitement, but he wasn’t feeling the complete dread that he’d been expecting. 

Truthfully, he’d never had one of those idyllic, Hallmark movie-esque Christmases that seemed so quintessentially American. Instead, he’d spent every Christmas of his life in the Bronx, in an apartment too small for a full sized tree, the snow on the ground mixed with trash and dirt. It might be nice to see what all the fuss was about when it came to a big family Christmas.

“You know,” he looked toward the driver’s seat at Sonny. “I’m actually kind of looking forward to this. Thank you for inviting me.” 

“Yeah, of course,” Sonny said, not taking his eyes off the road. 

“And I know you have your doubts, but parents usually love me. At least mom’s do. I’m sure I can win yours over.” 

“Uh huh,” Sonny nodded absently. 

Rafael’s eyes narrowed. “What’s going on with you? You roped me into a huge gathering with your family, one of your favorite things in the world, for your favorite holiday. I thought you’d be thrilled.” 

“I am. I swear. It’s just that—” Sonny finally looked over at him. “Well, you know how when we talked about our coming out stories and I told you that my family was surprised, but supportive?” 

“Yes, was that not true? Are they not happy you’re bi?” 

“No, no, that’s not it at all,” he responded quickly.

“Then what is it?” 

“Um, well, it’s just that, I haven’t actually told them.”

“What? You lied to me?”

“I know, I know!” Sonny lifted his hands from the wheel for a brief second in defense. “It’s just that you came out so young and have always been so confident in who you are. I was embarrassed to be in my mid thirties—”

“Late thirties.”

“— and not out. At least not to my family. And as you know, all of my serious relationships until now have been with women, so there’s never really been a reason to bring it up.” 

“But you invited me to come with you.” Rafael couldn’t believe this. 

“I know.”

“I was perfectly content to stay home and have a quiet day alone.”

“I know.”

“Why?”

“Because, I love you and I didn’t want you to be alone. I wanted you to have a good Christmas.”

“Well, it’s off to a great start, let me tell you.” He had half a mind to tell Sonny to turn the car around. “Why do they think I’m coming if they don’t know we’re a couple?”

“The real reason. That your mom is your only family and she’ll be gone and I—”

“Felt sorry for me?” Rafael finished for him when he stopped. 

“No, that’s not it. Really, Raf. And I know this isn’t ideal, but, selfishly, I wanted to spend Christmas with you, even if we have to pretend we aren’t together.” 

“You are going to tell them about us, about you? At some point?”

“Yes, I promise. Just, not this week. With the whole family there and the kids running around, and all the planning and cooking and everything, it’s kinda stressful and I think it would just be adding fuel to the fire. But I am going to tell them,” Sonny added, reaching over to take Rafael’s hand. “After the new year. I swear.”

Rafael sighed. The way he saw it, he had three options. One, make Sonny turn the car around and take him back to the city. Two, see if there were any hotel rooms available nearby where he could stay until Christmas was over. Three, suck it up and spend the next few days with the Carisis, pretending to be Sonny’s sad adult co-worker with nowhere to go for Christmas. 

None of them sounded particularly great, but only one of them involved spending Christmas with Sonny. 

“Okay,” he said finally. “I pretended not to have feelings for you for years, I can do it for a few more days.” 

Sonny grinned and brought Rafael’s hand to his lips for a quick kiss. “Thank you. I love you. So much. You know that, right?” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad you all are liking this so far. It's giving me motivation to actually write it. :)

An hour later when Sonny pulled into a driveway, parking behind several cars that signaled that the Carisi clan, or at least most of them, had already arrived. Rafael’s hopes of arriving early so he didn’t have to walk into a horde of people were dashed. 

The house did nothing to appease his anxiety. It was made to look like a log cabin on the outside, but it was massive, bigger by far than any cabin he’d ever seen. The yard was covered in snow and the lights from inside glowed in the waning winter afternoon sun. To most people it would probably look like a welcoming postcard, to Rafael it was terrifying. 

Sonny was already pulling their suitcases out of the back of the car when Rafael gathered the courage to climb out. “Too late to turn back now,” Sonny said with a grin, almost like he knew what Rafael was thinking. 

“Trust me, I’ve already looked up the closest hotels.” 

Sonny would have laughed if he didn’t know for certain that he was telling the truth. He didn’t have a chance to respond though because the bright red door of the house was swinging open. “Showtime,” he said only loud enough for Rafael to hear.

“Uncle Sonny!” A tiny blonde shot down the sidewalk at them like a streak. 

“Luna!” Sonny abandoned his suitcase and scooped up his niece. Rafael had heard enough stories and seen enough pictures to know this was Bella’s daughter. Bella had been pregnant when Rafael had prosecuted Tommy’s parole officer. It was crazy to think that now Luna was already five. 

“Luna Sullivan! You get your butt back in this house before you catch pneumonia. Or at least put your coat on!” The woman standing in the doorway holding a small, puffy pink coat, was undeniably Sonny Carisi’s mother. All Sonny had to do was grow his hair out and shrink six inches, and they’d practically be twins. 

“Hey ma.” Sonny finally reached the door, pulling his suitcase with one hand and still holding Luna in his other arm. He bent down to give his mom a kiss on the cheek. 

“Come on, get in here, you two. No need to catch a cold on the first day.” She stood back to let them into the house. 

It seemed even bigger on the inside than the outside. The first floor was an open floor plan with a large, sparkling kitchen and a fire crackling in the living room. Rafael was grateful that no one else seemed to be around. 

“Oh, Rafael, it’s so great to finally meet you after all these years.” Sonny’s mom pulled him into a surprisingly strong hug. “We’ve heard so much about you.”

Rafael was still a little angry with Sonny for getting him here under false pretenses, but it warmed his heart a little to know that he spoke about him to his family. Even years ago before they were together. “Thank you for having me, Mrs. Carisi.” 

“Oh please,” she waved a hand. “Call me Tessa. And we’re so happy you’re here. Poor thing. All alone on Christmas. We wouldn’t have it.” Rafael shot Sonny a look, but Luna had pulled him into the living room to show him some toy. “Anyway,” Tessa continued, “I’ll let you get settled in. I apologize Rafael, but you’ll be in the basement. It’s a pullout, but I’ve made it up for you with fresh sheets and everything.” 

This caught Sonny’s attention. “Oh, Ma, we don’t want to make Rafael sleep in the basement. I thought he’d just…” He trailed off, realizing what he was saying. 

“What? Stay in your room? Don’t be silly. I’m not going to make two grown men share a bed. Besides, it’s a finished basement. Nicer than our living room at home. Not like I’m making him sleep in a serial killer lair or something.”

“Really, it’s fine,” Rafael interjected. At this point he would take a serial killer lair if it would get him out of this conversation. “I’m happy with the basement.”

“Wonderful.” The matter settled, Tessa clapped her hands together. “You go and get settled in. We’ll start on dinner when the others get back from the supply run. Hope you’re hungry.” 

With the giant ball of anxiety in his stomach, hunger was the last thing on Rafael’s mind, but instead he just smiled and nodded. 

* * *

The basement was finished, as Tessa had said, but it was open, set up as some sort of family rec room with a large sofa—that had been pulled out and made up into a surprisingly inviting full bed—two recliners, and a giant TV. There was also a shelf full of books and board games, and a pool table. Rafael had a feeling his “bedroom” would have a lot more foot traffic than he’d like. At least there was a bathroom down here. 

“Hey,” Sonny said, trotting down the stairs, as Rafael stared down at his open suitcase. 

“There isn’t anywhere to hang my clothes,” he responded by way of greeting. 

“Oh, um...I’ll bring you some hangers from my room and we’ll figure it out.” When Rafael didn’t say anything, just continued to fiddle with the clothes in his suitcase, Sonny spoke again. “I’m really sorry you have to stay down here. It was another thing I didn’t really think through.” 

“Honestly, Sonny, sleeping in the basement is the least of my worries about this trip.” 

Sonny sighed. “I know. But we can do it. And in reality, my sisters will probably have so much drama that nobody will even be paying attention to us.” 

“You’re really selling the whole experience,” Rafael said with an eyeroll. 

“Wouldn’t you rather be prepared for when Gina brings up the fact that Teresa stole her boyfriend back in high school?” 

“Please tell me your parents keep a stocked liquor cabinet.” 

“Oh, for sure.” Sonny grinned, and, after a quick look around, gave Rafael a peck on the cheek. “I’ll go get you some hangers. 

Later, when Rafael had taken as much time as he possibly could unpacking and freshening up, he climbed the stairs from the basement and found the kitchen full of Carisis. They all turned to face him and he suddenly knew what it was like to face a firing squad. 

“Um, everyone, this is Rafael. Rafael, you’ve met almost everyone already, but this is my sister Gina and these are my nieces, Mia and Gabby.” Sonny gestured toward two college aged women sitting at the table, chopping vegetables. Teresa’s daughters, Rafael knew, and he was grateful they were adults. One small child was enough for him to deal with on this trip. 

“So, you’ve got no family, huh?” Gina asked from where she stirred a pot on the stove. 

“Gina!” Sonny admonished, sending an apologetic glance toward Rafael.

“At least not one as big as this one,” Rafael replied. “I appreciate you all having me.” 

“Okay, back to work, all of you.” Tessa clapped her hands. “The Russos will be here any time now.” 

“Wait, what?” 

The panicked look on Sonny’s face had Rafael a bit concerned. He’d never heard of the Russo’s before, which was interesting since Sonny liked to regale him with countless stories about his life.

“Oh, I told you they were renting the place next door for the holidays,” Tessa said, waving a hand. 

“No, you didn’t.”

There wasn’t time for more discussion on the matter because the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it!” Luna jumped up from where she’d been sitting with her cousins to run toward the door. 

The Russos were a small family of three, just a pretty brunette about Sonny’s age, and her parents, and they were enveloped in a mass of Carisis hugging and greeting them. 

In the middle of it all, Teresa pointed toward Rafael. “This is Rafael. He works with Sonny and is an adult orphan.” 

Rafael wondered if Sonny had told them his mother was dead, rather than on a cruise ship in the Caribbean, but then that didn’t matter when he saw the way the brunette pulled in Sonny for a tight hug, saying something in his ear. 

“That’s Maria,” Bella said, stepping up beside Rafael. “Literal girl next door. She and Sonny dated all through high school, but they broke up when she went out west for college.” 

“Oh, well, it’s nice that they stayed friends,” Rafael managed, not taking his eyes off the pair. Maria had left her hand on Sonny’s forearm as they continued to catch up.

“He’s totally over her,” Bella added, an afterthought. 

Realizing what Bella was getting at, Rafael cleared his throat and finally looked away. “It doesn’t really matter to me one way or the other.” 

“Okay, sure.” Bella patted his shoulder and walked away, leaving Rafael standing alone in a room full of people. 


End file.
